Posted on : 05-30-2008 | By : Sadie Smythe | In : open marriage
I posted recently about a few of the “Rules” that Hubby and I follow as a basis for our Open Marriage. And since then, I have had a few requests to post the entire list. So, here it is~
- Honesty at all times
- No sneaking around (We are not cheating on each other)
- Always be safe and always wear a condom
- You and I must always come first
- We have regular dates with each other
- Communication is key. Call, check in, and check phone for messages when out
- The hook-up person must know that we are solidly married and Open
- Exercise extreme caution at a first meeting
- Each of us has veto power
- No Drugs
- No Sleepovers
- Reassure each other after dates if necessary
- Date information to be disclosed on request
- Hosting at our home to happen only with permission
- Fall in love = break it off
- We continue to have sex often with each other
- No dating anyone from work, friends, neighbors or anyone we see regularly
- Honesty with each other, always
- No compromising these rules
Funny, in our naivete, Hubby and I were certain that if the last rule was in place that we would staunchly adhere to them, never wavering, never compromising.
But as it turns out, these “Rules” are really just “Guidelines”. And Hubby and I follow them respectfully. But if one of us wants to challenge any of these parameters, such as Hubby wanting to see cute co-worker chick, then we sit down and talk about it. Openly, honestly and rationally.
And we have these rules because we didn’t want to fuck-flail. Without some definitive constraints, we felt that we could potentially destroy our marriage. Everyone does it differently. Other people in Open Marriages may have a whole other set of rules. They may have similar rules. They may
have none at all. They may have more. These are just our rules.
have none at all. They may have more. These are just our rules.
And they are merely meant to guide us through the stream of sex and seduction safely and sanely. Like a game of this particular piece of our partnership that we play… together.
As a team.
Thank You for sharing.bqlv Been the topic in my life lately. Actually it’s ongoing. And I like it. Here’s to Honesty! Cheers!Nicholas
Thanks for the post!As active lifestylers it is very interesting to see the guidelines you set.It has sparked our curiousity, as we will be coming back to read more and understand the differences between an open marriage and the LifestyleTake care!The nibblers
[...] from each other. I’m sure there would be more if I gave it more serious thought. Here are Sadie’s (and Scott’s) old rules, if you’re interested. They are probably just about what I (think I -ha) would [...]
[...] http://www.sadiesopenmarriage.com/2008/05/rules-and-regulations-2/ [...]