If I am fucking you and you ask me, “Do we have to use a condom?” please know that my answer will always, always be Hell YES.

I have written about this before, but I believe it’s worth mentioning again ~

If you are fucking more than one person, or are fucking someone who is fucking more than one person, or even if you are one person who assumes that the person you are fucking is only fucking you but both of you haven’t yet gotten a full panel STD screen (assuming you’ve fucked other people) … you should be using condoms.

This, I thought, was common knowledge.

But I am reminded on occasion that it is not common knowledge (or at least it’s knowledge that is actively denied) and so on occasion, I am reminded that I should probably remind people who are not in committed, monogamous relationships to

USE CONDOMS.

This applies to single people, people in open relationships, people who fuck around indiscriminately, and those who fuck around but are choosy about who they fuck around with. Because if you say to someone, “Do we have to use a condom?” then what they should hear is, “You know those other people I’ve fucked? Yeah, I did them bareback because condoms suck, and, by the way, because I’d just met them and they fucked me without a condom, then that means they’ve very likely been barebacking with other people that they just met, and the people that they’ve fucked went condom-less too” … and so on and so on and so on.

Condoms can suck if you aren’t used to them, sure, but the answer to that problem is easy – GET USED TO THEM. Condoms serve many purposes but they must to be used in order to work. If they aren’t actually utilized they can’t really help stop the spread of diseases or keep little Johnny from being born to a couple who barely knew each other when they decided to make such a potentially life-altering decision, now can they?

Penetrative sex can feel really good with a condom on. My advice in insuring this feel-goodness? Make sure all other areas of your sexual repertoire are up to par. If this is the case, condom use becomes less of a hindrance and more a part of the overall experience. And what I mean by that is get yourself in good “fucking” shape – be well rested, nourished, don’t be drunk or high, and make sure you have energy and stamina (if this means getting yourself to a gym, then by all means do it.) If you are in good “fucking” shape, then you will be far more likely to have a successful, condom using fuck-fest because your blood will be pumping to the appropriate place. And I think it goes without saying that if you are sober then you can feel more.

And here is some more practical advice, this is from Dan Savage, “If you’re putting the condom on right before penetration, as so many dudes do, you’re going to experience a sudden drop in sensitivity at the worst possible moment. Condoms are often cold when first applied, and we all know what cold does to boners. So put the condom on at least ten minutes before intercourse. Roll it on your dick during foreplay, or have [your partner] roll it on. Treat the condom like it’s part of the action, not an interruption, then continue to roll around… stroke yourself, etc, while the latex comes up to body temperature. Then after you’ve checked to make sure it’s still on, proceed to fuck [your partner] senseless.”

So, this is my little condom Public Service Announcement. Remember that a condom really can be your friend… you just have to let your cock give the friendship a fighting chance. And chances are that in so doing, the condom will work for you.

And for that, your cock can and should, say Thank you.